Arquivo do mês: dezembro 2009

ciao, 2009; ciao, 2010!

2009 foi um ano peculiar.

2009 teve muitos altos e muitos baixos; altos muito altos, e baixos muito baixos; e, claro, dias normais.

façamos uma rápida retrospectiva: orlando; morte do meu tio Tarcísio; playstation 3; búzios; volta as aulas; não fui pro temas, chorei; gente que eu nem conhecia falando que eu era o máximo; hamlet; demi lovato; jonas brothers; reportagem publicada nO Globo; provas; harry potter; orlando; genebra; GMUN; paris; italiano; morte da Vovó Laércia;  onu jr craziness; onu jr happiness; comida japonesa; new moon; mais comida japonesa; acidentes; churrasco; operação saving l’s b-day; 20 anos.

com certeza eu esqueci de alguma coisa, mas é basicamente isso.

hoje eu ia escrever emails de feliz ano novo pros meus amigos, mas eu não consigo fazê-lo. resolvi, então, que no matter how crazy i am tonight, eu vou mandar sms. até porque, como diz Narcisa, amanhã eu posso dizer que hoje é ano passado, então tá tudo certo!

arrivederci 2009. feliz ano novo, feliz mundo novo, feliz ano todo! benvenuto, 2010!




ps: trecho do email que recebi hoje: And when we get our hearts broken, it takes time to heal, but y’know what… we can only be down if we allow ourselves to be down. You’re too awesome to let some scumbag from the past let you stay messed up and you know it.

Dear Santa Claus

I hereby present you my 2009’s Christmas List. I hope you considered me a good girl this year; I know I try. I also know that I have a good life and more than I could ask for, but stil…

First of all, I want strenght, lots of strenght inside of a big gift box. I need strenght to handle with what I’m going through and what’s to come; I need strenght to study harder than ever for my last year in college; I need strenght to write a nice final paper that will open the academic world doors for me; I need strenght to carry on.

Besides strenght, I’d like to have more health for me and my family, specially for grandma. God only knows how much it hurts to see her suffering. I’m hoping for a Christmas miracle: that she’ll be healed from this disease. I hope God will hear my cry and will bless us all with her healing. I strongly believe in this miracle.

Also, it wouldn’t hurt to be healed from this heartbreak I have to deal with for 3 years now. I know it was my choice, my break-up choice, but it hurts. It hurted so bad yesterday, Santa… you’ve no idea. All those walls I built, all that amazing argument that I was okay… it all fell apart. Maybe this wish would qualify to the strenght list as well, but I think it deserved to be pointed out. About having another boyfriend, I’m not so sure. You see, when you’ve broken your heart so many times you stopped keeping track, you start wondering if it’s good to fall in love and risk it all again. I only want a relashionship if he’s that king that opens the door for me, and loves me more than he can tell, and treats me like a princess, and truly cares about me, and respects me and my tastes, and can make me feel so special I won’t wanna be with anyone else. If you wanna hook me up with that guy, I’ll accept it gladly.

If it’s not to early to ask, Santa, I’d love to be accepted for Itamaraty. Only God knows how bad I wanna get in and become a diplomat… and how I want it pronto. Please, Santa, bear that in mind as one of my priority gifts. It would be a blessing! It would, no — it will! I hope…

Well, I guess that’s pretty much it. If you can also ask God to spare the world from misery and war, it would also be great. I hate knowing that we haven’t achieved peace yet, and that so many have to suffer because of hunger, poverty, and misery in general.

Thank you for reading my letter, Santa. Hope you’ll make every house tonight in time.

Yours sincerely,


can’t stop

all alone in my room, think of you at a rate that is truly alarming. i keep looping my memories of you in my head, i pretend that you want me. and i fall asleep and dream of alternate realities. and i can’t stop thinking about you.

i’m not surprised, not everything lasts. have broken my heart so many times, i stopped keeping track. talk myself in, i talk myself out, i get all worked up and then i let myself down. i tried so very hard not to lose it, i came up with a million excuses… i thought, i thought of every possibility…

fuck you

you know what really sucks?

even though i had LOADS of fun today with my friends, i still hadn’t the sunday i wanted to have. or was with who i really wanted do be.


but, fuck you, fuck you very much for it!

a night to remember

it was a night to remember, and never ever never forget.

não me sentia assim há muito tempo. aliás, eu acho que nunca me senti exatamente assim.

i’ll never let it go

acordei e resolvi assistir, finalmente, ao documentário JK Rowling: A Year in the Life. minha resistência so far é justificada por um fator: eu sabia que ia chorar como um bebê. e não deu outra.

todas as vezes que eu penso na tia Jo, e em como minha vida mudou por conta do que ela criou, eu choro. like a baby!

nem que eu tente explicar, não dá pra entender o que eu sinto por Harry Potter e por essa mulher maravilhosa, que me deu a coisa mais preciosa do mundo.

se eu estou escrevendo isso aqui, e pode não fazer o menor sentido pra qualquer pessoa que leia, eu sei que, quando eu ler isso daqui a uns anos, eu vou entender. e certamente vou sentir exatamente o que eu tô sentindo agora…